How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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