I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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