grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
