hotel room ftw
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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