its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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