Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
