I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let's get the cat blown out
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize