If i come over, it means nothing
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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