; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I seem to have left my pride at pride
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
And then he peed in my hair
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