so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
