I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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