Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My balls are so social today.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
