Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
