I CAN MOONWALK!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
