I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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