I'm really into asian looking animals
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
