the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
