Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just found puke in my bra..
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
