The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
