Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
