some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
