I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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