my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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