I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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