He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
