Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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