So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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