I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she smelled like a LAN party
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
