I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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