just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
