2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize