is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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