Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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