I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
There's even glitter on my cock...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
