If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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