That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
