okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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