WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize