What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
