Say something about gay babies.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
