I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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