Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

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(850): View more from Florida

it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.

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(760): View more from California

so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dick very happy bro

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(703): View more from Virginia

my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life

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