I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize