And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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