Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
