She is in my trunk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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