Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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