I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
