He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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