Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
