Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize