I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
