you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
