Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
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No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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