We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
