I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize