im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just invented taco cereal.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
