Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
