he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
