some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
