Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
