She is in my trunk
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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