She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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