I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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