Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize