Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
