Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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